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I prepared myself for breathing

June 20, 2017

I prepared myself for breathing
the kind I notice and give thanks to
where my thoughts slowly dissipate
my intentions start alone
with you
I have seen wine turn back to water
seen the Red Sea join together and sing
I must believe that a miracle is not a miracle
but plausible
as science is
and we see it through to the best of our ability
a dolphin jumps out of the water in front of me
I believe in God at that moment
that is the essence of any thought I may have
I will curl my lip with confusion
until you right my ship with your astonishing breath
adrift but not lost
alight but not fully seeing
in love but not in realization how full love can be
when its boundaries are me but no map
can contain such shivery lines
thank God I’m not a country
I’d be in danger of being taken over
back to my breath
my thoughts are silly
they belong in a pit
I only believe the ones
that look like the sky

Jack and Val

May 13, 2017

Jack and Val met in the
moonlight by the shed
or was that the shed light
by the moon
by the fire pit wood
burning slow, simmering out
muttering
under its breath
at the rain

were there ants here
or does the hole in the
corner of this shed
signify something
Jack and Val decide
to disappear there
below in the meeting room
where Eric and Alice
Jane and Patrick first
felt themselves in the underground
no stairs
little sound
no genuine interruption

Jack and Val will meet
again next week
under a strange street lamp
during a light rain
night will speak to them
again as they prepare
to disappear from the rest

They will drift away from
the other’s memories
as they begin to grow
like a fire in their own

shall we disappear with them too
or decide to recede into the background
as the hole where they reside
fills up and
the drug
begins
to take
effect

Waiting

March 7, 2017

The couch is waiting
the pillow waiting
the sun is waiting
moon waiting too
my hand is waiting
whole body waiting
breathing, waiting
for you

the silent trees
misty leaves
silken hanging
from beneath
earth-like
sand, wood, termite
comes out of its hole
to see if you
are through

I’ll be waiting
go on waiting
forever waiting
what else am I to do?
the sun, the moon,
the stars, I co-opt their
significance, their relevance
brought me your eyes
brought me you

These aren’t really my flowers

January 16, 2017

These aren’t really my flowers
and this really isn’t my world
I just stomp around, think and make statements
until I sense someone is coming
Duck down it’s the highest of measures
feel out what she told you to bring
evil thoughts gave way to abrupt actions
tall talk meant nothing at all
while the clock crept up on me once again
If you felt half of what I do at this moment
You’d leave without a trace left behind

We’re just rough drafts
in unison
felt in the same dimension, same error
I’ll see clear when the rain stops
when the snow falls
when my mirror is dusted
you gave me your name, your body
I fled with it all
got stopped on the wrong side of town
he asked me to get out
put my hands up
I made the false move on purpose
and held your heart close to me
as I bled

Never part

September 19, 2016

Staring out the window
not in any hurry
look at how slowly the
clouds move
I’ve found a world
where people all look
like someone else
I am not sure I deserve
this treatment
but my faith tells me
I must believe this
It’s Saturday
millions are arriving
spread out all over
I plan to leave and
negotiate with 19 months
worth of life
introducing the best my energy
has to offer
come hold my hand
but only for so long
imitate what brings you joy
and character
what kind of world is this
but the best we can come up with
up until now
up until now I read about 100
different versions of love in a book
now it is becoming the field
I play in
pass me the ball
if I drop you it will be the field
that matters not the slippery nature
of my holding hands
not the care I take in picking
you up but the
parts of you
that are left lying
realizing they were
never part of you at all

It’s a portal

September 19, 2016

It’s a portal
but I don’t know where it leads
once I know it is there
I must take it
Her legs precede me
her curves like a slide
like a child I follow
although at the end
the fall is rough
but I get back up
and lie beside
the last version of myself
that I was blessed to notice
don’t you see the reason yet?
the portal arrives silently
and coming with it the enticing factor
built in it beckons at me to come through
and knows I will so it prepares
my welcoming glance and also
my eventual recovery
all in one
all wrapped up in one
the beginning is the end
the discovery holds the loss
my arrival assures me I must leave
does the portal hold my next life
or the one I just left behind
does it break my fall when I reach out
or let me feel the pain of trying
to do too much

Deer whisk by

February 25, 2016

To be next to a dove’s breath
a simple sigh
effortless
one to inspire most
an enigma
hurt and following
the sun
shielded eyes wander close to grass
the path too hard
the grass muddy
sinking in comforts but slows
which coat shall I take out of the closet
not sure which face is appropriate to wear
waiting on a phone call isn’t like me
staring at a picture cross-legged
is where I want to be
unzip me
play the devotional music
melt me down
to the purest state
unheard of meals
taste like candy
fine stuff
dark chocolate but better
intense longing
a windy wet path down to the lower level
deer whisk by
wish they weren’t afraid
an apple held in my hand
a friend until the end
a field to my right separates us
I stare through the fence
proud but timid she stares back
Why does the flower in my hand
get confused with a gun??
why when I make a move towards you
do you run?
I was born in your moon
we are bound by our blood
you are close enough to me
to call ourselves one
if you do run away
I will understand
but know where you find your comfort
is in my other hand

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